Which one is it?

There is no question about it.  The American Left has cornered the market on aluminum foil beanies.  With each passing day, the accusations they make about President Bush and the administration get nuttier and shriller.  What is even more amazing is that if you point out the obvious inconsistencies in their zany conspiracy theories, the leftists simply use that as proof that you have been brainwashed too.

 

Of course, they are convinced that they are immune from this mind control, probably due to their lack of a mind, but for whatever reason, they believe that only they can see the truth.  Of course, if you look at their “truth” you can easily see how silly most of these theories are.

 

Take, for instance, the Left’s belief that Vice President Dick Cheney is the Puppet master of this entire administration, and that everything he does is for the benefit of his former company, Halliburton, and other energy companies like Enron.  In order to believe this, AND BE CONSISTENT, you would have to believe that the Clinton Administration was part of this conspiracy because they awarded Halliburton no bid contracts in the Balkans.  The Aluminum Foil Beanie Deflector crowd ignores that bit of information.

 

Additionally, they want us to believe that the Vice President would happily destroy the country to make a profit.  Now, if Cheney is the evil genius that the leftists believe him to be, that isn’t out of the realm of possibility, but to go about it in the manner supposed is quite a stretch.  For example the Left wants to claim that Cheney and his “secret” energy meetings were designed to give Enron the ability to gouge prices in California.  Now, unless Cheney and the neocons have perfected the science of time travel, that would have been quite impossible.

 

You see, a fact that the kooky Left ignores is that California’s energy crisis began in 2000.  Further, the Bush administration was responsible for imposing the caps on prices that took effect in June, 2001 and ended the crisis.  The major price gouging took place between the summer of 2000 and March of 2001.  However, if you put on your Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, these facts will magically disappear.

 

Additionally, if Cheney was the evil Svengali mastermind, he would certainly want to keep himself out of jail.  However, according to the kook fringe of the Left, or is that now the mainstream of the Left, Cheney’s crimes are so obvious that a person would have to be comatose not to see them.  Of course, the Bush haters claim that the media and the entire Republican Party is in on the conspiracy, thus protecting the evildoers from being brought to justice.

 

The conspiracies run the gamut from simple theft to imposition of a mendacious fascist theocracy to a larger plan for world domination.  The screwy thing is that the kooks don’t just believe one of the theories, they believe all of them.  Don’t even try to bother them with the fact that the various conspiracies tend to be mutually exclusive.

 

If this administration is all about theft for Halliburton and the oil companies; then the thieves would have to accomplish it stealthily to avoid prosecution and reelection would not be a major concern.  Yet the nuts are convinced they have open obvious proof of theft.  However, if imposition of a fascist theocracy is the motive, then they would know that they couldn’t accomplish that in the first term and would need to win in 2004, and wouldn’t want to risk that by engaging in petty, on the grand scale of things, larceny.  Additionally, if world domination was the object, then they would know that they need to first create a genuine sea change in the American public in order to give them control of the government for decades.

 

I would really like to ask the leftist nuts “which is it?” but I suspect they would simply say “yes”.  It’s Cheney, it’s the neocons, it’s PNAC, it’s Israel, it’s the Carlyle Group, it’s the Skull and Bones, it’s the Religious Right, it’s the Saudis.  They probably believe that it is all simply evidence of how deceitful this administration is.  After all, they “get it”.