I have seen the error of my ways

After years of fighting leftism and defending conservatism, I have suddenly been hit with a beam of light like Paul on the road to Damascus.  I was wrong.  Conservatism is not the path of knowledge and enlightenment.  The Progressives are the way to go.

First, in the area of defense, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter have tried to explain it to us for the past two years, but we haven't understood.  If we disarm, then all the nations of the world will follow our example.  Don't worry about dictatorships that might appear to be unfriendly to us, they just are afraid of us and it makes them defensive.  So what if some nations decide to keep their weapons, we will have done the noble thing and set the proper tone for dialogue around the world.  After all, the survival of the United States is less important than the cause of peace and harmony throughout the world.

I have embraced the belief that "Bush lied".  I don't let the fact that every intelligence agency in the world believed the same things about Saddam Hussein bother me.  I don't let the fact that the Clinton Administration and every Democrat in Congress said the same things about Saddam bother me.  Once I accepted this everything else made sense.

At home, we should return to the pre-Reagan tax rates, where the top marginal rate was 70%.  Those rich people just stole their money anyway, or made it on the backs of slave labor.  They can get by with much less.  If we cannot move people out of poverty into the middle class, at least we can reduce the number of wealthy people and make a larger middle class that way.  So what if it creates less of an environment for investment.  This country should not create wealth if it cannot be distributed equally.

Now, the government should retool the budget to pay for all the social programs that the masses want.  We must reduce the risk in people's lives.  Many people are incapable of making the tough choices necessary to survive on limited resources, so the government should, in a benevolent manner, make things easier for them.  So what if that eliminates the incentives for achievement and thwarts ambition.  Achievement and ambition are just methods that white males use to rob from and enslave the masses.

Government should actively encourage alternative lifestyle choices.  Traditional morality is simply too confining and inspires guilt which can harm an individual's psyche.  So what if traditional morality forms the underpinnings of an orderly and cohesive society.  No one should have to feel guilty, unless they have more material possessions than their neighbor.

The environment should become our predominant concern.  We must first stop abusing animals.  We cannot eat meat, since that involves killing an animal who was not allowed to choose.  Of course that also means that we cannot use leather for belts, shoes and other items.  There is always plastic.  Oh wait, I cannot use plastic either.  Plastic is petroleum based and thus requires using nonrenewable fossil fuels and causes air pollution.  I am giving up my truck for a bicycle, even though I will have to leave two hours early to make the thirteen miles from the house to the office, and no public transportation is available.  I may give up my house too.  I do not know if it was made from old growth lumber or not.  You see, when it was built, I was less enlightened than I am now.  What about the electricity that heats my home?  Does it come from environmentally hazardous nuclear plants or from fossil fuel burning power plants?  Does it come from hydroelectric dams that have been built and destroyed the pristine habitat of fish and wildlife?  This is so hard.  I may have to give up electricity altogether. 

Oh well, anyway, except for environmental confusion, I FEEL so much better now that I have joined the path of enlightenment.  Now if I could just remember how to speak French life would be perfect.